I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
