WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
