OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize