Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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