Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize