Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Houston, we have a blender
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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