Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
