do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Screwed.edu
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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