Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize