Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Found the puke drawer
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
