it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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