he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
