just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
