jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
