we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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