youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
