I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
