he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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