alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize