There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
