I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
