After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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