Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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