OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i think my tv is drunk
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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