I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
