Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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