do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
