I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Everything about him screamed your future.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
