i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
