are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i think my cat just said my name.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize