this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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