I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
then he tried to convert me to islam
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
