I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
