Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
