That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
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