i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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