Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
