Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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