it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
