he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
