You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
