wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
