Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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