what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
