Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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