dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
