i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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