apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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