I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
