Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
