check it out our google latitudes are spooning
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
