what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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