I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize