hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
