so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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