I'm going to rape someone's good day.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
