Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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