What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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