I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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