I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
