So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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