if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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