i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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