Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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