i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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