ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
