Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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