batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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