Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do vagina's smell?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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