I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
